Noel Gallagher Slams Christmas in Brutally Honest Festive Message

“The entire fing period is a stain on society. I fing hate it with a passion,” he declared.

Despite a brief moment of seasonal affection when John Lewis used his song in a Christmas advert—“At that point I gave it a second chance”—Gallagher quickly reverted:

“Too much food, stupid jumpers, sht weather, disappointed children's faces... it’s just bulls***.”*

In typical fashion, he even took aim at chipolatas, branding them “a circus troupe from the f**ing 50s.”*

Gallagher ended the rant by sarcastically offering “the benefit of my genius” as his annual gift to brother Liam, before signing off:

“Merry f*ing Christmas. We are not the world. We are not the children. Christmas is for dibs.”**